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November Editor's Comment This months Editor’s comment was derived from the quote I came across at the end of this article. It reminded me of myself a couple of years ago, when moving half way around the world from New Zealand to London. At that time I remember thinking how no-one would know me in my new home, and if they were any aspects of my character that I’d always wanted to change and had never quite gotton around to doing, that I now had the perfect opportunity to do so.
Making changes in your life is always difficult. It may be to quit a bad habit, whether that be smoking, or the ability to say ‘no’ without guilt to loved ones, deciding to live a healthier life, take up yoga or mediation, renew your religious faith or even find a new one! I was lucky, as changes are always easier to make when you place yourself in a completely new environment. Strangers have no expectations of you, and they have no prior knowledge of the kind of person you are. What you project to them upon meeting them for the first time is what they will come to expect from the day to day person that is to become the new and improved you. While friends and family are an intrinsically important part of a persons support network, they can, without realizing it, make it difficult for a person to change. You could find that breaking out of years of deeply established patterns and ingrained routines to be more difficult than you ever imagined. This is probably due to the fact that people do not like to have change forced upon them. Deciding to make a change for yourself is one thing – having one imposed on you is an entirely different matter. You may have decided to change something about yourself, but bear in mind that this change will also impact on your relationships with those around you. Whilst you may think you are evolving, and becoming more of the person you want to be, all of a sudden you may find that the people nearest and dearest to you are suddenly calling you selfish and self-absorbed. Yet if these are changes you genuinely want to make for yourself, try not to let the feelings of others deter you. Sometimes a explanation of what you are trying to do helps – and if the negativity is still there, accept that there may be underlying issues that the other person may have within themselves, in not being able to support you in your lifestyle change. Respect their wishes, but explain that this is something important that you want to do for yourself – and then let the matter rest. Eventually, all those who care for you most will come around to the new and improved you. How can they not, when they see how much happier you are as a person? At the end of the day, the one person you will spend most of your life with is yourself. The great thing about this is that you have full control over defining what kind of person this will be. Care for others; be sensitive to their feelings, but care for yourself as well. Life is too short for regrets. Cara Talbot – Ed. "The farther behind I leave the past, the closer I am to forging my own character." - Isabelle Eberhardt |
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