My Tripod Page
Signs of too much of the 90's/2000



You try to enter your password on the microwave.

You haven't played patience with real cards in years.

You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

You e-mail your work colleague at the desk next to you to ask, "Do you fancy
going to lunch?" and they reply, "Yeah, give me five minutes".

You chat several times a day with a stranger from South America, but you
haven't spoken to your next-door neighbour yet this year.

Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not have
e-mail addresses.

Your idea of being organised is multi-coloured post-it notes.

You hear most of your jokes via email instead of in person.

When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally insert a "9" to get an
outside line.

You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different
companies.

Your CV is on a diskette in your pocket.

You learn about your redundancy on the 9 o'clock news.

Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose all your best jokes.

Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.

Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more likely to get
long-service awards.

Free food left over from meetings is your staple diet.

The work experience person gets a brand-new state-of-the-art laptop with all
the features, while you have time to go for lunch while yours powers up.

Being sick is defined as you can't walk or you're in hospital.

You're already late on the assignment you just got.

There's no money in the budget for the five permanent staff your short of,
but they can afford four full-time management consultants advising your
boss's boss on strategy.

Holiday is something you roll over to next year.

Every week another brown collection envelope comes round because someone you
didn't know had started is leaving.

You wonder who's going to be left to put in to your 'leaving' collection.

You read this entire list, kept nodding and smiling.

As you read this list, you think about forwarding it to your "mates you send
jokes to" e-mail group.

It crosses your mind that your jokes group may have already read this, but
you forward it on anyway .......

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